WHY 2022 IS THE YEAR YOU SHOULD HIRE A MALE NANNY

If you were a Friends fan back in the nineties and early noughties, we’re sure you’re familiar with the episode where Ross and Rachel hire a male nanny, or ‘manny’. As such, you’ll also be familiar with the scene where Ross famously says ‘a man wanting to be a nanny is weird, it’s like a woman wanting to be a…’ and then finds himself stumped as to what the end of that sentence is. 

If you’re unsure of what we’re talking about, there’s a clip here but, to this day we’re still trying to think of something to finish Ross’s sentence off. It’s probably because there’s nothing women can’t do but it has got us questioning why there was, and still remains to be, such a stigma against men wanting to be nannies.

The ‘obvious’ answer might be that nannying has typically been seen as a female role, as an extension of old-fashioned gender roles wherein men were characterised as breadwinners and protectors, while a woman’s role was in the home, caring for children. But attitudes and gender roles have shifted drastically since Friends first aired, and mannies have come a long way too. 

Consider the rise in men taking paternity leave - between 2017 - 2018, over 235,000 men in the UK took up paternity leave so they could play a more active role in raising a family. So, by that measure, why would it be unusual that more males find satisfaction in childcare and caring for a family, and thus want to explore nannying?

According to a gender bias report in the US, 98% of nannies are female and only 2% are male. An article by The Sun also estimates that that figure is the same in the UK, which is staggering as there can be so many perks to hiring a male nanny:

• For single-parent families, having a positive male role model or ‘father figure’ around can be a plus, and for dual-parent families, a ‘manny’ can simply act as a trusted and supportive older brother figure to play and interact with.

• When it comes to play and organising activities, males are typically more physically active. Physical activity is always a welcome bonus to support health and wellbeing, but also helps to burn some of your childrens’ excess energy, so everyone can get a better night’s sleep!

• Evolution has led men to adopt a naturally very protective quality, so it may also bring you comfort to know that your child (or children) has a protector of sorts to mind them during the day.

• Having a male nanny in a female-dominated industry will help teach your child broader gender perceptions and set the foundations for understanding that a person can become anything they are passionate about, without boundaries set by gender.

Things to consider before hiring a male nanny:

• If you’re unsure of hiring a male nanny, first address what’s holding you back. 

  This could be addressed through conversation with a friend, a therapist or your partner but you should take a moment to consider where any hesitation comes from. Is it simply that the concept is still unfamiliar? Is there perhaps some unconscious bias acting as a barrier? Are you looking for certain attributes you’re worried a male nanny may not possess? Is there just one Manny in the who’s making you feel uncertain? 

  Equally, if your partner is also male and has reservations, it’s important to discuss this. Are they worried of another male / potentially paternal presence? Do they mesh well with the nanny too?

• Reach out to other families who have had hired male nannies, as they’ll likely be able to speak to their experience, share any learnings and answer questions to ease any doubts you have.

• If interviewing, ask what drew them to this profession. If you have any doubts in your mind, the answer to this question should quickly give you a steer on whether a male nanny, or that one in particular, is right for you and your family’s needs.

• Write a list of key skills and attributes you’d like your nanny to have.

  Whether male or female, this can be a good way to help you overcome any hesitation in the event you shortlist a male nanny. If he has all the qualifications, skills and personality traits you’re looking for, and during an interview the dynamic works, then gender ought not to be an issue.

  Also be transparent about ways of working and your expectations so it’s clear for all parties whether the fit is mutually beneficial.

The main thing(s) to take away…

Across the UK there are many male nannies available and, in turn, a wide variety of skills, qualifications and attributes to choose from. Ultimately the nanny you select should be the person whose skillset and personality best aligns with your family’s beliefs, lifestyle and needs but let 2022 be the year that you take a moment to consider the untapped potential of male nannies.

THE BEST THINGS TO DO IN LONDON THIS FEBRUARY HALF TERM, WHATEVER THE WEATHER

If you take a moment to think back to when you were a child, you’ll remember half term as one of the things you looked forward to most during term time. The freedom from lessons, time to just chill out with a game or meet friends in town, or to get up to some kind of mischief in the garden - it was bliss. But as a parent, half term can be one of the most dreaded times in the calendar. Without the structure of a school schedule, you find yourself trying to conjure up activities that will keep your children happy, entertained and far away from covering the house in homemade slime. 

To save you the added stress of planning activities over the school break, we’ve rounded up some of London’s best offerings to keep your little ones busy over the February half-term; with both indoor and outdoor options to suit the (let’s face it) dreary British weather, and varying budgets!

INDOOR

Theatre - prices vary per show and seating area.

Head into the heart of the city and enjoy the experience and novelty of some of the best shows on London’s West End. There’s plenty to choose from but here’s some inspiration: The Lion King, Mousetrap, Cirque du Soleil, Matilda, Harry Potter Cursed Child.

Warner Bros Studio Tour - from £47.50

This one’s not quite in London but it’s not far outside the M25, and makes for a magical day out (pun intended). During and after half term, the studios’ Magical Mischief tour will be open, revealing the filmmaking trickery behind the Harry Potter film series and shining a spotlight on magical pranks and mishaps. During your visit, you can learn how your favourite mischievous moments from the films were brought to the screen in this exciting feature.

Word to the wise - studio tours sell out quickly, especially during school breaks so book sooner than later so you don’t miss out!

Science Museum - Free

From Helen Sharman’s iconic space suit to Amy Johnson’s marvellous Gipsy Moth aeroplane, the Science Museum tells the stories of the extraordinary human achievement and technological advances that have helped humanity overcome challenges throughout history. With lots of interactive exhibits to get stuck into, this museum makes for a full day out and is definitely better than a day of bingeing Netflix or PS4 games! 

At-home Cinema screening - Though if you are going to indulge in screen time at home , make it a little special but hosting an at home cinema experience. The kids can pick out their favourite snack or drinks in advance and, with the help of a projector, you can screen a brilliant film from the comfort of your home. Haven’t seen Encanto yet? We 10/10 recommend, though be ready to be humming the soundtrack a while after.

Natural History Museum - Free entry

The Natural History Museum is always a win as far as we’re concerned. 

If the permanent exhibitions alone don’t quite tickle your fancy, then we also recommend the Dinotours - a 45 minute tour with one of the NHM’s knowledgeable guides before the museum opens to the public. This gives you a chance to get up close and personal with all the main characters in the world-famous Dinosaurs gallery. (Children £20, Adults £30).

And for children over eight, go behind the scenes with NHM’s knowledgeable science educators for a look at the Museum's fascinating zoology collections preserved in spirit. (Tickets - £25)

Note: Events like their Dino-snore experience - staying overnight for a Night-At-The-Museum-Eqsue experience with breakfast included. This sleepover for kids aged 7 to 11 gives budding explorers the chance to discover the Museum after dark with added activities thrown in the mix. Great fun but they also sell out long in advance. Sadly they look to be full this half term but one to have on your radar for future!

Cinema Trip - from £5.99

Half term could be an opportunity for a Tom Holland overload. If you’ve not yet seen Spiderman: No Way Home, then that’s definitely worth a trip to the cinema. If you have then fear not, he has another film coming out - Uncharted (12). 

The storyline focuses on treasure hunter Nick Drake, a descendent of explorer Sir Francis Drake, searching for the fabled South American golden city, El Dorado. Oh, and as a bonus for the Mums, it also features Mark Wahlberg! 

Roller Disco (Family Session) - £10

This one will have your kids talking about it for a while after. Roller Nation’s ‘Family Jam’ sessions are for ages 5-14 (and parents) only, so you needn’t worry about show offs throwing your balance off. Skates are available to rent as part of your ticket price and food and drinks are available throughout, so all you have to do is enjoy the music and have fun!

OUTDOOR

Richmond Park Walk - totally free

Nothing beats some old-fashioned fresh air and a walk.

Hampton Court Palace & Maze - from £12.60

For a change of scenery, why not venture to Hampton Court Palace? Plenty to explore in the palace itself, as well as opportunities for some Henry VIII role play. And as an added bonus, entry to the Maze is included in a normal admission ticket. The Hampton Court Palace Maze is the UK's oldest surviving hedge maze and covers a third of an acre. It’s known for its many twists, turns and dead ends so you won’t be short on fun and adventure.

Go Ape - from £22

Unleash your adventurous side at Go Ape in Battersea, Alexandra Palace or  Cockfosters. Whether you are looking to climb high up the trees to tackle Treetop Challenge or zoom across the forest floor on the Forest Segway , this is the ultimate action-packed adventure to fill your half term. 

ZSL London Zoo - prices vary dependent on experience

There’s something magical about a trip to the zoo and seeing wild animals up close but you can also take that experience to the next level at ZSL London Zoo this half term with activities including:

• Vets in Action is an award-winning role-playing experience for budding veterinarians to help experts examine, diagnose and carry out treatments on soft toys - from microchipping meerkats to ultrasounding pregnant sloths. Best for pre-school age.

• Junior Keeper for a Day gives you the opportunity to get up close with some of the animals at ZSL London Zoo and get a taster of what life is like as a Zookeeper! (Age 11-15) £170.

• Meerkat Experience - Go inside the meerkats' home and watch as they scamper around you on their search for food. This one is a 20 minute experience as part of your day out. (Age 5+) £54pp.

THE WORST NANNY EXPERIENCES & HOW TO AVOID THEM

If you’ve spent any time browsing online forums in the hunt for a nanny or host family, you’ll more than likely have also come across your share of horror stories and awkward tales from nannies the world over. While there are some truly shocking experiences people have faced, some of the trickiest scenarios can be avoided. 

In this post, we’re rounding up some of the less-favourable scenarios experienced by nannies on discussion platform, Reddit, and sharing our top tips on how best to navigate similar scenarios should you ever run into them.

1 -  “Laying Down The Law”

It’s not uncommon that families’ existing lifestyles and ways of working will feed into how parents want nannies to interact with their children, but this nanny details how a particular parent took that to a new level…

"I arrived to an 8 page set of house rules, laying out everything she had watched her sitters do on her nanny cams that she did not like and that were not allowed”. There were a few familiar and perfectly reasonable requests included, like “don't use cell phones while in our home” were on the list but the things that jumped out as red flags were things like “don't eat in front of our baby because it's unfair to her feelings” and “never take the baby into the bathroom with you because there were no cameras in there.”

The nanny in question was so offended by what the final rule insinuated that she never returned and was later told by her nanny agency that the mother had previously “sent 4 page emails on a weekly basis detailing and complaining about each sitter they had sent her up until [me]."

Our advice: For the benefit of both parties, it’s important to set out expectations early on - ideally at interview / hiring stage or in the first week of employment. This ensures nannies are aware of any particular lifestyle requirements, and can make an informed decision as to whether they’re able to support those needs before joining a family, and clear boundaries are established.

2 - ‘BURNT OUT WITH NO WAY OUT’

This nanny found herself in a particularly challenging situation where boundaries were overstepped and she found herself unable to commit to the family’s changing needs. As a consequence, her mental health was deprioritised and she was left feeling burnt out.

This nanny had been with the family for around 18 months and, with the mother expecting her third child imminently, was told regularly by the mother that she was “a part of [the] family, if you left us the kids would be crushed, we need you please never leave us”.

While that sounds like a positive relationship on the surface, the nanny notes that, on the flip side, she was regularly asked to “do things out of my comfort zone” like additional housework outside of contracted responsibilities, answer questions about her personal life, asked to stay late without increased remuneration, and expected to answer calls while off the clock. 

Alongside this role, the nanny was also studying but the parents asked her to take a semester off to be available for 40+ hours each week once the baby arrived as while in classes, she was limited to being able to work 36 hours a week. 

Eventually this nanny reached breaking point and she sought advice on how to resign respectfully, to retain a positive relationship with the family and obtain a good reference for any future work as, ultimately, she had done her job well. The only “issue” would have been her resignation as she felt the family would not take kindly to the timing, and may try to “manipulate” her into staying on.

Our advice: This one is particularly tricky…. First and foremost, at no point should a role, nannying or otherwise, jeopardize your mental health so if there are issues in place that are impacting this, it is important to communicate these to your employer. Discuss what’s causing you trouble and any solutions that you feel may help resolve the problem.

Using this nanny’s experience as an example, we would recommend having an open and honest conversation with a family early on about the evolution of your role if you feel your responsibilities have increased beyond what was contracted/agreed, as there may be opportunity to review priorities, or for increased pay to accommodate additional needs.

As far as resignation goes, ultimately employment works both ways - it is just as important that a family suits a nanny, as it is for a nanny to suit and meet the needs of a family. If at some point circumstances change, it is important to communicate this to the other party so an amicable agreement can be made on how best to move forward or part ways. In the case of this nanny, our suggestion would have been to explain to the family that prioritizing your education is important and was something you could juggle when you joined but that a new baby and increase in hours simply won’t be feasible. This gives the family the opportunity to explore reduction in hours or to accept your notice and begin the search for a replacement.

3 - “ALL INCLUSIVE EXPERIENCE”

Our third and final nanny found herself in a scenario where her employer had organised a family trip, including her. A working holiday doesn’t sound half bad, right? But this trip wasn’t quite what she had in mind…

 “I was under the impression I'd have my own hotel room or at least a separate room in the suite. NOPE! They got a room with two queen beds in it and expected me to have a bed with one of the kiddos and then one of the parents would share a bed with the other kid. Oh, and aside from paying my airfare etc... I wasn't paid, only given $200 of "spending money".

Our advice: Having a written work agreement from the outset that outlines the nannies duties and responsibilities can help to prevent job creep. In the event that parents require a nanny to take on additional duties and tasks, or in this case, travel with the job, communication is key to ensure everyone understands and agrees to new expectations. 

If these tasks are outside the scope of the original work agreement, the nanny should be compensated accordingly and, in this scenario, if a nanny is still working to contracted hours and fulfilling usual responsibilities, they should be remunerated as normal. Regardless of location.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

One common theme among the stories above, and others we’ve seen on forums, is that unclear expectations, responsibilities and boundaries are the source of problems. Through clear communication, situations like these can be easily avoided to ensure both family and nanny have a smooth and pleasant experience for the duration of your time together! Interviews are also a good window for both parties to address expectations, possible changes in circumstance and ways of working. Read our recent post for additional tips on important things to cover at interview stage.

6 TIPS TO KEEP YOUR CHILDREN ENTERTAINED AFTER CHRISTMAS

Whether you’re a parent, a guardian or someone who simply enjoys ‘looking after your sister’s children and then handing them back when a tantrum starts’, you can’t deny the pleasure that comes from watching children experience the magic of Christmas.

That warm fuzzy feeling you get seeing them follow Father Christmas’ snowy footprints down the hall, the excitement they experience unwrapping stocking presents, or the meticulous inspection of reindeer carrot remnants is like no other. 

But one problem we all run into is when our children, overwhelmed with excitement and choice, unbox every new toy on Christmas Day, leaving nothing new to enjoy in the days and weeks that follow. We all dread hearing the words “I’m boorrrred” in a drawn out whine. So, to help parents the world over, we’re sharing some of our top tips to help you avoid that very situation, and keep your kids entertained that little bit longer over the holiday period and into the New Year!

1. Out of sight, out of mind

Now, we’re not suggesting you hide presents from your children but with a plethora of toys and games to choose from, it’s no surprise their attention span leaps from item to item and they want to play with everything one after the other. So after the initial unwrapping and excitement, leave out a small selection of toys for immediate use (typically this might be something particularly novel, like an action figure or a toy) and, while they’re busy playing, seize the opportunity to pack away items that could be played with down the line (like board games or crafts of any kind).

In doing so, children will still have plenty of things to play with long after Christmas Day and a wide variety of activities to keep them engaged.

2. Plan a New Year Party 

With only a few short days in between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, planning other activities like a New Year’s celebration is a wonderful way to stagger the use of toys and break up the post-Christmas period.

Now, Lord knows we can barely keep our eyes open past 9pm so this needn’t be an until midnight affair but get the children excited by letting them help coordinate New Year festivities at home. Tasks such as the below will give them a sense of responsibility and pride in their own work, as well as allow their creativity to shine through and help focus their attention on something new once Christmas is over:

• Picking out their favourite activity (ies) for the evening. This could be simple, like choosing a favourite board game to play with family members, or for more of a creative approach, encourage your children to devise a new game for everyone to participate in. 

• Making decorations like bunting, paper chains, or even glittery invitations and posters to ‘advertise’ the shin dig beforehand!

• Simple party prep, like blowing up balloons and laying out place names at the dinner table, 

• “Catering” - okay, we don’t even want to think what canapes conceptualised by children would entail but you can still let them get involved in ‘catering’ by encouraging them to pick out a meal or snacks that are their particular favourite, and letting them help shop for and prepare the items.

3. Get Crafty

Call us old fashioned but it’s always nice to receive thanks for a gift you’ve given and doubly so when that comes in the form of a homemade thank you card. 

Arts and crafts are always a great option to keep children busy and enhance their creativity and thank you cards are a simple, yet lovely place to start. 

A simple pack of card is all you need and the rest is up to you (or, more specifically, your children). You could simply use pens and pencils to draw on the cards, make the most out of leftover wrapping paper, Christmas cards, magazines or newspaper cuttings to form a collage, or add a touch of sparkle with glitter. The world is your oyster on this one!

4. Playdates with family or friends. While this may sound obvious, it’s one that many people often forget about over the Christmas period but it’s the perfect opportunity for children to take a moment away from presents and engage in social interaction with other kids. In doing so it also spurs their imagination through play and teaches the importance of sharing each others’ toys.

5. Get outdoors! It’s perhaps a bit wishful thinking to say ‘make the most of the snow and take the children outdoors for a wintry adventure’ or ‘take them tobogganing’ but we definitely encourage you to get out and about for a walk as often as possible over the festive period. Not only will it break up or fill part of the day, but it’s also a great opportunity for children to be in nature and see wildlife that they may not have experienced at other times in the year. 

If sledding and snowball fights aren’t on the cards then even something as simple as ‘spot the robin’ is a fun and engaging game that will make a wintry walk all that more enjoyable!

6. Just Dance. No, this isn’t a statement, we’re talking about the game. This one is absolutely hysterical both to watch and to participate in and all players have to do is mimic the dance routine they see on screen. Just Dance is a good form of physical exercise and will keep everyone toasty warm on a cold afternoon, it’s one that the whole family can get involved in, it will tire kids out (particularly useful if you’re looking for a mellow evening), and it’s so entertaining that it’s an easy way to pass the time.

If your family owns a console of any kind, you can buy the games here or, if you’re not console-owners, then you can find routines on YouTube just as easily.